“Bravo, good job.”
This phrase, thought to be benevolent, often rings hollow.
It reassures the manager more than it nourishes the team.
True recognition, the kind that recharges collective energy, doesn’t congratulate: it connects.
And that’s where conscious leadership begins.
We talk a lot about feedback, but rarely about positive feedback. Often relegated to the back burner, perceived as an extra soul, it is nonetheless a powerful lever for performance, cohesion and humanity. It’s neither flattery nor complacency: it’s a way of regulating relationships and restoring trust in teams. And that’s precisely what our organizations need today.
A suspicious attitude
In all my years of training and coaching, I’ve noticed the same reaction in leaders: a slight discomfort followed by a skeptical pout, an air of saying – “I’m not going to do it!
“That’s all very nice, but not for me. In my world, there’s no time for compliments.”
And all I have to do is start an exercise and the perception changes. The mood of the room changes.
The positive feedback of recognition for a job well done, when given with structure and awareness, transforms team dynamics. It changes relationships, conversations and even the “biology” of the collective.
The science behind positive feedback
Positive feedback is not only good for the brain, it’s also good for morale. When we receive sincere recognition, our brains release oxytocin, the hormone produced by the hypothalamus and associated with bonding and trust.
It strengthens our sense of belonging, reduces defensive vigilance and opens up space for cooperation.
Conversely, a climate saturated with stress or control releases cortisol, which tightens our focus and reduces our ability to listen.
Neuroeconomist Paul Zak has shown that oxytocin stimulates trusting and cooperative behavior.
Barbara Fredrickson, professor of positive psychology, has shown that pleasant emotions broaden our field of perception and promote creativity.
At the root of psychological safety
The work of
Amy Edmondson
(Harvard) has highlighted a key factor in collective performance: psychological safety.
It’s this atmosphere of trust that allows everyone to speak openly, admit a mistake, question a decision or propose an idea without fear of being judged.
I’m often asked: “How do you create this security, since it can’t be decreed?”
The answer lies in the quality of daily micro-interactions.
Every glance, every word, every feedback contributes to the invisible climate that determines freedom of speech.
Positive feedback plays a decisive role here.
It’s not about flattery, but about creating the conditions of trust and recognition that make openness possible.
By acknowledging an effort, a good intention or progress – however small – you send an implicit but powerful message:
“Here, what you do has value, even when everything isn’t perfect.”
Repeated over time, this type of feedback establishes an emotional security that paves the way for corrective feedback, transparency and shared responsibility.
Without this foundation, feedback becomes an attack. With it, it becomes a growth conversation. In other words: positive feedback doesn’t hide mistakes – it makes the truth possible.
What positive feedback is not
Before going any further, let’s clarify a common confusion:
Positive feedback isn’t just a compliment. Nor is it a “bravo” thrown in at the drop of a hat, let alone a pat on the back.
It’s a conscious recognition of a behavior, effort or intention that serves the collective mission.
–> A compliment flatters the ego.
–> Positive feedback feeds the senses.
When properly formulated, it tells the person: “I’ve seen you. What you did matters. And that’s why.”
How to combine recognition
1. Emotionally intelligent feedback
This is the formula I teach most often, because it creates a real connection.
“I was (sincere emotion) that you had (concrete behavior), because (benefit / impact).”
This structure seems simple, but it changes everything.
It anchors feedback in authentic feeling, not judgment.
A clumsy example:
“I’m proud of you, you handled the meeting well.”
Behind these words, we hear: “I’m evaluating you,” “I’m validating your behavior.”
A more appropriate example:
“I was touched that you listened to Paul’s grievances without interrupting or getting upset.
Thanks to your attitude, everyone felt calmer to reopen the conversation.”
Here, you recognize the difficulty and the person’s intention, not just the result.
You assert your feelings without implicit hierarchy.
You strengthen the bond instead of activating the need for approval.
This type of feedback activates the emotional connection.
It reinforces mutual esteem, not dependence on validation.
2. Structured feedback
Certain contexts – particularly technical, scientific or cultural – call for a more factual approach.
David Marquet, former submarine commander and author of Leadership is Language, offers a simple, yet formidably effective structure:
“What I saw… / What I felt… / The impact it had…”
This version retains the human dimension, but without excessive emotion.
It is particularly suited to environments where rigor and clarity are valued.
Example:
“I saw that you took the floor calmly to defend your point of view and I felt courage and real clarity.
As a result the others listened to you differently, and the discussion became constructive.”
This approach rationalizes recognition without dehumanizing it.
It links performance to awareness of effects.
3. Select according to context
The two formulas are not opposites: they complement each other.
One nurtures emotional connection, the other clarity and responsibility.
Use the former in moments of tension, courage or vulnerability.
Use the second when you want to highlight a specific professional behavior, without getting emotional.
Good feedback connects without flattering, enlightens without judging, nourishes without invading.
From structure to transformation
Positive feedback is a posture.
It’s a way of saying: “I see you, I hear you, and your action makes sense to me.”
I remember an executive in a pharmaceutical group. At first, she said to me: “I’m not going to congratulate my teams for doing their job.”
A few months later, she confided in me: “This recognition feedback has changed the way I look at people’s work and has even influenced the quality of my relationships at home.”
It’s no coincidence.
When we acknowledge others sincerely, we activate our brain’s cooperation system.
And the more we practice, the more we strengthen our own emotional balance.
We become calmer, fairer, more human leaders.
Humanizing performance
I invite you to change your outlook and observe behavior that contributes – however discreetly – to your team or project.
Formulate a feedback with one of the two structures. Say it. Watch the effect. You may see a slight astonishment at first, then a smile, then a subtle change in the other’s posture.
That’s the power of positive feedback: it recreates a bond where pressure had taken the place of meaning.
–> It humanizes performance.
–> It repairs the micro-injuries of everyday life.
–> It makes visible what really matters.
And if its essence had to be summed up in one sentence, it would be this: it’s a conscious recognition that aligns heart, head and action. 😊
