Are we prisoners of our biology?
You often tell yourself that you’re “like that” at work.
Demanding.
Responsible.
Serious.
Withholding.
Listening.
Thoughtful.
Equitable.
Indispensable.
We can count on you.
These traits have probably helped you make your way in the professional world.
They gave you positive reinforcement.
A personality test confirmed the trend and put you in this box.
Praiseful feedback from a superior stayed with you.
Feedback from colleagues or customers reinforced this image, again and again.
So you’ve integrated these qualities.
You’ve built your leadership around them.
They’ve served you.
>They’ve protected you.
>They’ve helped you move forward.
But my customers all tell me:
With the acceleration and increasing complexity of professional environments, these same qualities are becoming increasingly important.
Very heavy.
What used to be your strength sometimes becomes your burden.
How can you continue to perform without over-adapting?
How can I evolve without betraying you?
Neuroscience applied to women’s leadership reminds us of one essential thing:
What you call your “character” is often a repeated biological strategy.
A learned strategy.
Reinforced.
Automated.
And what has been learned can be transformed. Here’s neuroscience applied to female leadership 😊.
It all starts with biology
Your brain decides before your speech
Caroline M. (not her real name) is reputed to be very efficient.
After CODIR meetings, she completes the work of those who don’t deliver it well enough.
It’s for the company!
Reads every page of a file.
Prepares questions.
Secures details.
She says she leaves room for her teams and colleagues.
But they criticize her for prescribing everything.
She says, “They’re not good enough. I have to make up for the lack. It’s for the box.
What’s going on in Caroline M.’s neurobiology?
Even before articulating a rational decision, her nervous system activates.
This super-performer has learned that controlling calms her parasympathetic nervous system, which activates in the face of fear and doubt, increasing stress.
Taking back control reduces uncertainty.
Result: the dopaminergic circuit goes into overdrive, already imagining positive results.
But behind this dopamine – the expectation of success– there’s often cortisol ready to drench the nervous system – the possibility of things going wrong if she does nothing.
The work of Wolfram Schultz shows that dopamine is not pleasure, but the anticipation of reward. What activates the circuit is the promise that all will be well.
Andrew Huberman explains that these dopaminergic circuits reinforce behaviors associated with progression and control.
So, logically, her nervous system chooses, to protect her, to secure, to check, to regain control. It’s physio-logical! Another example of neuroscience applied to female leadership.
Chronic stress transforms behavior
Another scene, another woman. Geraldine Z.
She almost burned out. Broke her back.
For years, she carried.
Anticipated. Absorbed. Compensated.
Today, she sees problems emerging.
She identifies them very quickly.
But she remains silent.
Disillusioned.
Tired.
She knows the price of commitment.
It’s not a lack of leadership.
It’s a saturated nervous system.
Chronic cortisol reduces sensitivity to reward.
What used to stimulate dopamine – the anticipation of success – no longer does.
When stress becomes prolonged, the motivational system breaks down, says Andrew Huberman in the podcast cited above.
Géraldine is not lacking in commitment.
She protects her biological integrity.
When biology influences power relations
A customer once said to me:
“Since I know that men have more testosterone than we do, I don’t fight head-on anymore.
I let them talk, waiting for that little strategic moment when I can intervene. As I observe, I don’t feel attacked.”
What she has understood is fundamental.
Testosterone is associated with dominance, sensitivity to status and competition.
It modulates motivation to defend or improve one’s position in a hierarchy.
And it’s not just the hormone of aggression and pressure.
In some highly competitive CODIRs, status signals are constant: interruptions, posturing, micro-challenges.
David Rock, with the SCARF MODELmodel, shows that status is a major neurological trigger.
When status is threatened, the brain activates threat circuits.
Understanding this doesn’t mean submitting.
It means you can stop personalizing.
My client hasn’t given up.
>She changed her strategy.
She stopped interpreting every interruption as an attack.
>She began to read signals as biological activations.
And she felt stronger.
Testosterone also exists in women.
It supports ambition and risk-taking.
So the question is not: who has more?
The question is: how does the system regulate status dynamics?
Without a secure framework, rivalry grows.
With regulation, ambition becomes constructive.
Amy Edmondson has shown that psychological safety reduces defensive behavior and improves collective performance.
What this means for you
Being indispensable can become an addiction
Dopamine reinforces behavior.
Serotonin nurtures a sense of status.
Kent Berridge distinguishes “wanting” from “liking”: we can continue to want to perform, even when pleasure diminishes.
Many women leaders have learned to survive in demanding dopaminergic systems.
Objectives.
Results.
Visible performance.
But being indispensable also nourishes identity.
If I don’t wear it, who am I?
I also analyze this mechanism in my articles here and here.
Keeping quiet is sometimes a strategy… but not a solution
The disillusioned woman understood the cost.
But replacing hyper-responsibility with withdrawal creates another imbalance.
Nor permanent over-adaptation.
Nor silent disengagement.
Mature leadership is neither sacrifice nor withdrawal.
Exploding reveals a safety breach
She did everything as requested.
And the board is still making adjustments.
When the rules are constantly changing,
when micro-information circulates unevenly,
the nervous system reacts.
Lisa Feldman Barrett shows that emotions are built on the brain’s predictions.
What you call “excessive anger” can be a coherent reaction to structural instability.
An unstable system produces unstable reactions.
Regulating rather than reacting
Understanding biology is not enough.
The question is: what are you doing with this consciousness?
1. Read your condition before acting
Before saying “I’m demanding”, ask yourself another question: am I
- in search of dopaminergic relief?
- under cortisol activation?
- defending my status?
Consciousness precedes regulation.
You can’t change your behavior by willpower.
You change your behavior by identifying the biological state that fuels it.
2. Question the identity that protected you
Perhaps you’ve built your career on :
To be irreproachable.
To be the one who saves.
To be strong.
These strategies worked.
They were adapted to a specific context.
But are they still relevant today?
Carol Dweck has shown that believing in malleability transforms the trajectory.
What has been learned can be transformed.
The question is not: “Who am I?”
The question becomes: “What strategy am I activating?”
3. From control to relational maturity
This is where leadership goes beyond biology.
Susan Goldsworthy‘s Care – Dare – Share model is an invaluable reading.
Mature leadership is based on balanced tension:
-
Care: creating security, respect and connection.
-
Dare: dare to take risks, take on challenges, be demanding.
When Dare is high and Care low, you enter Play to Dominate mode.
Power over.
Corrosive energy.
When Care and Dare are raised simultaneously, we enter Play to Thrive mode.
Power with.
Productive energy.
Biology can lead you towards control (cortisol) or rivalry (status).
Conscious leadership involves regulating these impulses to stay in the Thrive zone.
It’s not about suppressing ambition.
It’s not about giving up on high standards.
It means maintaining Care when Dare increases.
4. Redesign the system rather than adjusting it alone
Regulate the competition.
Clarify the rules of the game.
Distribute real responsibility.
A system that only favors Dare creates collective cortisol.
A system that only favors Care creates complacency.
Maturity means holding both together.
Biology explains impulses.
Leadership chooses the quadrant.
The questions that remain
Isn’t it more comfortable to say “I’m like that” than to admit that your system is in chronic activation?
Haven’t you built part of your identity on being indispensable?
If you were no longer in a constant struggle to prove your worth, what would become of your leadership?
You are not a prisoner of your temperament.
You are influenced by chemistry.
And chemistry can be regulated.
It all starts with biology.
And that’s precisely why you have power.
Moving from “Is this who I am?” to “What kind of energy am I activating in my team?” will help you grow.
Play to dominate?
Or play to thrive?
If this topic resonates with you – or your organization – it might be time to open up the conversation.
I work with management committees and HR teams to integrate these biological dynamics into a more mature approach to leadership.
Bibliography
Berridge, K. C., & Robinson, T. E. (1998). What is the role of dopamine in reward: Hedonic impact, reward learning, or incentive salience? Brain Research Reviews, 28(3), 309-369.
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
Edmondson, A. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Wiley.
Feldman Barrett, L. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Goldsworthy, S., & McLean, M. (2019). Care to Dare: Unleashing Astonishing Potential Through Secure Base Leadership. Pearson.
Huberman, A. (2021-). Huberman Lab Podcast. Stanford University School of Medicine.
Schultz, W. (1997). Dopamine neurons and their role in reward mechanisms. Current Opinion in Neurobiology, 7(2), 191-197.
Enjoy your discovery!
