It’s been over 40 years since Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz first talked about the pressures women face trying to do it all—excel at work, at home, and everywhere in between. And yet, here we are, still feeling that same pressure. Her advice is just as relevant today, especially for women in corporate roles, balancing a hundred different things.
Let’s dive into her 12 key takeaways on how to break free from the “superwoman” trap—without burning out.
1. Recognize the Social and Inner Pressure to be “Perfect”
Let’s be honest: society pushes us to be perfect in everything we do, and it’s exhausting. Shaevitz reminds us that the first step to shifting our mindset is simply acknowledging that this pressure—social, professional, and family—exists. It’s real, it’s there, but it doesn’t have to define us.
2. Accept Imperfection
Thriving for perfection is a crazy goal. Your mother and other women in your environment may have been an example—or the exact opposite to exasperate your beliefs. Yet bear in mind that perfection does not exist. That’s a fact. Shaevitz encourages us to accept that and focus on being authentic, not flawless. Our authentic fulfillment expands by recognizing our imperfections and, thus, our uniqueness.
3. Set Boundaries that Work for You
You don’t have to do it all. Figure out what really matters, and make a list. Then decide: what do you say yes to, what do you say no to, even if it feels scary. Now you have your boundaries. The next step is to learn to get comfortable saying no when you need to. Remember, the matter is to protect your energy level and vitality, not spread yourself thin.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Whether you take some me-time to exercise, meditate, paint, dance, or enjoy a cup of tea, taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental needs has to come first—seriously. It’s the only way to prevent the disconnect from who you are vs. who they” want you to be. You know that can’t pour from an empty cup, don’t you?
5. Seek Support
No one has to go it alone. We are a social species. Turning to friends, family, or colleagues for support can ease the load. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed if you need help. We all do from time to time. So dare to ask for help, and you will gain much-needed perspective during tough times.
6. Nurture Self-Esteem
In a world that constantly pushes us to doubt ourselves through societal expectations and the ever-comparing lens of social media—it’s very very easy to feel less than enough. We’re bombarded with idealized images of success and perfection, making us question our worth, our bodies, our achievements. But confidence, as Shaevitz reminds us, is the most powerful antidote to the ‘superwoman syndrome.’
Imagine what you’re capable of when you stand in your full power—when you’re not held back by fear or self-doubt but instead driven by a curiosity to grow and learn from every experience. Confidence is about showing up as you are and trusting that you can handle whatever comes your way. That’s how we stop playing small, and that’s how we start living on our terms.
7. Find Balance
A good life (for me at least) is about feeling a deep sense of contentment in how we live each day, embracing a meaningful blend of the roles we fulfill. Shaevitz reminds us that women must learn to give equal weight to what truly matters—whether it’s our careers, families, relationships, or personal passions. No feelings of sacrifice—just alignment with what truly fulfills us.
8. Practice Gratitude
Take a step back and appreciate where you are right now. Celebrate the small wins. Say thank you to the universe as often as you can. Shaevitz reminds us that gratitude shifts our focus and help us feel more grounded. Keep an evening gratitude journal and come back to it every day!
9. Build Resilience
Setbacks happen. What matters is how you bounce back. Resilience—the ability to adapt and recover in the face of adversity—is the key to moving forward, learning from those tough moments, and staying on track. Shaevitz advocates embracing failures as learning opportunities and pursuing your goals even when challenges arise. This aligns with Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset Theory—the idea that challenges are chances to grow. (watch her Link to her TED talk).
10. Stay Present
We spend so much time worrying about the future or rehashing the past. Shaevitz encourages us to focus on the now, just now. Living in the present moment gives you clarity and reduces unnecessary stress. Feel your feet in your shoes on the ground. Join your hands and feel every inch of the surface of your palms, which is a technique to remain present.
11. Cultivate Positive Relationships
Surround yourself with people who uplift you. The quality of your relationships—both at work and in your personal life—has a huge impact on your happiness and success. Choose those connections wisely.
12. Stop the illusion of control
We can’t control everything, and trying to do so only leads to frustration. Shaevitz advises women to let go of the need for control over things outside their influence. Instead, she encourages focusing on what’s within your power to change. By releasing this illusion, you can invest your energy where it truly matters, freeing yourself from unnecessary stress.
How about a Check-Up?
There’s a lot of information and recommendations here, right? So how do you make the most of the time you’ve spent reading this article? Let’s wrap it up! Start your self-exploration journey with my Superwoman Check-Up Tool—an XLS chart designed to illuminate your path toward achieving your goals and guiding you through the process of breaking free from the “superwoman” mindset.
Download it here and take the first step. With 14 items (I’ve added two), ask yourself for each one: Is this a strength or a weakness in my life right now? Then, assign a score based on how you feel. The solution to the pitfall might sound simple but remember: having the support of a friend or coach can make all the difference, helping you reach your destination without the frustration or discouragement of doing it alone.
Ready to step away from the superwoman role and into your true brilliance?
Closing Thoughts
Yes, The Superwoman Syndrome was published over 40 years ago, and it’s almost unbelievable that we’re still facing many of the same challenges today. No joke. Shaevitz’s wisdom continues to resonate because it addresses universal truths. These principles are still reflected in modern self-development programs for women, including my Life Work Brilliance program (available in French), which integrates many of these timeless strategies to help you balance ambition and well-being with ease.
