{"id":13152,"date":"2026-02-08T16:23:15","date_gmt":"2026-02-08T15:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/?p=13152"},"modified":"2026-02-24T08:01:39","modified_gmt":"2026-02-24T07:01:39","slug":"du-je-nai-pas-le-choix-a-la-souverainete-la-puissance-du-et","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/en\/blog\/du-je-nai-pas-le-choix-a-la-souverainete-la-puissance-du-et\/","title":{"rendered":"From &#8220;I have no choice&#8221; to sovereignty: the power of AND"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-path-to-node=\"5\">&#8220;I have no choice, it&#8217;s the process. I don&#8217;t see how I can avoid it, even if I don&#8217;t approve.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"5\">MC, the director, looks me straight in the eye. She&#8217;s looking for my approval. What she doesn&#8217;t tell me explicitly is that she has laid down her arms in the face of &#8220;the System&#8221;. She&#8217;s settled into this resignation, this gray area where we end up slowly extinguishing ourselves, thinking that&#8217;s the price we have to pay to succeed.   <\/p>\n<p>In truth, and she doesn&#8217;t know it yet, MC has come looking for a new leadership posture to get out of this thing.<\/p>\n<h2 data-path-to-node=\"6\">1. The invisible trap: the separation that weakens you<\/h2>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"7\">In the HR Business world to which I belong, two worlds often coexist without talking to each other:<\/p>\n<ul data-path-to-node=\"8\">\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"8,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">On the one hand, OD (Organisational Development) &#8211; The Framework:<\/b> structures, processes, talent management. Here, the focus is purely organizational. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"8,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">On the other, People Development:<\/b> leadership and skills development, coaching. Here, the focus is on the individual. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"9\">Each domain works in its own silo. This separation, practical in theory, is a costly solution.   <strong>Because dysfunctional systems inevitably produce dysfunctional behavior.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"10\">If you see yourself separated from the system, you have only two options: suffer or fight. Exhaustion is guaranteed. As long as you stay within this binary logic (it&#8217;s the organization&#8217;s fault OR it&#8217;s my fault), you&#8217;re depriving yourself of your power. You forget that the system isn&#8217;t a fixed machine, it&#8217;s a sum of relationships, of which you are one of the main nodes.   <\/p>\n<h2 data-path-to-node=\"11\">2. The exteriority syndrome<\/h2>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"12\">In executive coaching with clients (yes, I have good coaching guys too \ud83d\ude09 ), their stories almost always start with what the organization puts them through: the impossibility of recruiting at the right skill level despite the complexity, the walls between departments that prevent co-creation, the regular interference of big bosses and chiefs in operations, when decisions on key elements are expected&#8230;<\/p>\n<h3 data-path-to-node=\"13\">To be right or to have an impact?<\/h3>\n<p>It&#8217;s a reality: work has become brutally demanding. And pointing the finger at governance flaws allows us to maintain a salutary distance: &#8220;It&#8217;s not my fault, it&#8217;s the system.&#8221; To a certain extent, that&#8217;s true. <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"14\">But it&#8217;s also a trap. As <b data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"45\">Adam Grant<\/b> points out in <i data-path-to-node=\"14\" data-index-in-node=\"61\"><a class=\"ng-star-inserted\" href=\"https:\/\/www.adamgrant.net\/book\/think-again\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-hveid=\"0\" data-ved=\"0CAAQ_4QMahgKEwiGscSi98mSAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQtAY\">Think Again<\/a><\/i>we often fall into two sterile modes that reassure us but block us: <\/p>\n<ul data-path-to-node=\"15\">\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"15,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">Prosecutor mode:<\/b> to prove the system wrong.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"15,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">Preacher mode:<\/b> to convince people that our vision is the only right one.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"16\">As soon as we confuse &#8220;being right about the system&#8217;s diagnosis&#8221; with &#8220;being effective in our own role&#8221;, we stop thinking. We defend a position of lucid victimhood, instead of questioning our starting hypothesis: what if I did, in spite of everything, have room for manoeuvre? <\/p>\n<h3 data-path-to-node=\"17\">I then ask THE awakening question:<\/h3>\n<blockquote data-path-to-node=\"18\">\n<p data-path-to-node=\"18,0\">&#8220;And you, how do you live it, how do you survive in this context?&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"19\">At that moment, the gaze changes. MC&#8217;s wiring shifts inward. His shoulders straighten.  <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"19\">You can&#8217;t talk about an organization without talking about the people who run it. That&#8217;s where leadership begins: when you accept that you&#8217;re part of the system&#8217;s puzzle, not beside it. <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"20\">Because if you&#8217;re in the system, you have the right (and the duty) to inject new proposals. This is the moment when you stop being a quasi-victim observer, and become a contributor worthy of your role. But for this proposal to be heard, you need a solid foundation. That&#8217;s where the &#8220;AND&#8221; comes in.   <\/p>\n<h2 data-path-to-node=\"21\">3. The posture of the ET: the strength to inhabit one&#8217;s place<\/h2>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"22\">I discovered &#8220;AND&#8221; during my NLP Master Practitioner training, a long time ago. On paper, it looked attractive, a magnificent intellectual exercise. I must confess that, at the time, I was very much in my own head&#8230; I thought it was enough to understand the concept for everything to change.   <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"23\">But the field taught me something else: ET isn&#8217;t just an idea, it&#8217;s <strong>a posture<\/strong>. A general attitude. It&#8217;s the physical ability to stay grounded when two contradictory truths coexist; that moment when you leave mental reflection behind and feel your two feet flat on the ground, standing firm on your legs, back straight, head too.  <\/p>\n<h3 data-path-to-node=\"23\"><i data-path-to-node=\"24\" data-index-in-node=\"36\">Strong Back, Soft Front!<\/i><\/h3>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"24\">This is what <b data-path-to-node=\"24\" data-index-in-node=\"13\">Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/b> calls the <i data-path-to-node=\"24\" data-index-in-node=\"36\"><a class=\"ng-star-inserted\" href=\"https:\/\/brenebrown.com\/book\/braving-the-wilderness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-hveid=\"0\" data-ved=\"0CAAQ_4QMahgKEwiGscSi98mSAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQtQY\">Strong Back, Soft Front<\/a><\/i> a strong back to hold the frame, and an open heart to stay connected. Becoming an actor means refusing to choose between &#8220;bending to the process&#8221; or &#8220;resigning internally&#8221;. It&#8217;s deciding to inhabit both:  <\/p>\n<ul data-path-to-node=\"25\">\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"25,0,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"25,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">The Designer:<\/b> You look at the framework coldly and dare to propose new rules of the game. You don&#8217;t ask for permission, you make a value proposition. <\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"25,1,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"25,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">La Coach :<\/b> You stay in touch with people, you listen to what they don&#8217;t say, you reinject trust where there&#8217;s only procedure.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 data-path-to-node=\"26\">The bridge: from your sovereignty to yours<\/h3>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"27\">But be careful: this new posture must not remain a solitary exercise. If you change on your own, you&#8217;ll create a gap. Your sovereignty only makes sense if it becomes contagious.  <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"28\">Becoming an actress isn&#8217;t about carrying the world on your shoulders, it&#8217;s about opening a door so that others can stop suffering too. This is where your individual leadership is transformed into collective power. For your team to move from &#8220;we undergo&#8221; to &#8220;we act&#8221;, you need to create the container capable of receiving this new energy.  <\/p>\n<h2 data-path-to-node=\"29\">4. Creating space: the &#8220;AND&#8221; in action<\/h2>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"30\">Your feeling of powerlessness is a symptom of collective asphyxia. We&#8217;re running out of time, so we stop thinking. As <b data-path-to-node=\"30\" data-index-in-node=\"137\">Otto Scharmer<\/b> teaches in <i data-path-to-node=\"30\" data-index-in-node=\"156\"><a class=\"ng-star-inserted\" href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=https:\/\/www.ottoscharmer.com\/books\/theory-u\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-hveid=\"0\" data-ved=\"0CAAQ_4QMahgKEwiGscSi98mSAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQtgY\">Theory U<\/a><\/i>transformation emerges from the quality of the space from which you act.  <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"31\">Before you rush off to &#8220;fix&#8221; a meeting or a project, give yourself (and your team) a moment of silence. Dare to ask the questions that open the field: <\/p>\n<ul data-path-to-node=\"32\">\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"32,0,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"32,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">What&#8217;s the fundamental question we&#8217;re carefully avoiding?<\/b><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"32,1,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"32,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">What&#8217;s the blind spot we refuse to face?<\/b><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"32,2,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"32,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">What is the invisible issue that is blocking our system today?<\/b><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"33\">This is where Team Coaching really comes into its own, by becoming an act of creative resistance. It&#8217;s no longer a &#8220;training course&#8221;, it&#8217;s the laboratory where together you regain control over the system. Your posture is the key that opens the door, but it&#8217;s together that you cross the threshold.  <\/p>\n<hr data-path-to-node=\"34\">\n<h3 data-path-to-node=\"35\">What to remember<\/h3>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"36\"><strong>You&#8217;re not a victim of the organization. You&#8217;re one of its lungs. <\/strong>  If you block your breathing, the system suffocates with you.<\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"37\">So you see, leadership is your ability to claim the space needed to think together about what&#8217;s dysfunctional. I offer you this challenge for today: every time you catch yourself saying &#8220;I have no choice&#8221;, replace it with <b data-path-to-node=\"37\" data-index-in-node=\"246\">&#8220;what&#8217;s the third way here?&#8221;.<\/b> <\/p>\n<p data-path-to-node=\"38\">The system is waiting for you to move so it can change shape: what&#8217;s your first suggestion? \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n<blockquote data-path-to-node=\"39\">\n<p data-path-to-node=\"39,0\"><b data-path-to-node=\"39,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\">Ready to turn your team into a sovereignty laboratory?<\/b> <a class=\"ng-star-inserted\" href=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/search?q=https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/team-coaching\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-hveid=\"0\" data-ved=\"0CAAQ_4QMahgKEwiGscSi98mSAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQtwY\">Discover my Team Coaching approach here.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tired of laying down your arms? Discover how to reconcile your leadership style and stance to escape the suffocating atmosphere at work. A manifesto for leaders who want to move from survival to the power of &#8220;WE.&#8221;  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13151,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>From &quot;I have no choice&quot; to sovereignty: the power of AND - Dominique Ara<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Adopt a sovereign leadership posture. 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