{"id":12891,"date":"2025-10-21T06:40:22","date_gmt":"2025-10-21T04:40:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/?p=12891"},"modified":"2025-10-21T06:30:04","modified_gmt":"2025-10-21T04:30:04","slug":"ce-fichu-reflexe-de-s-excuser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/en\/blog\/ce-fichu-reflexe-de-s-excuser\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s stop apologizing for nothing"},"content":{"rendered":"

A real bad habit<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I thought I’d solved that bad habit.<\/p>\n

Yes, in my professional relationships – or almost.<\/p>\n

This habit (a dirty habit, as my grandmother would say) I spot in others and in my customers.
\nI know how it works. I deconstruct it during my workshops. <\/p>\n

And yet… she comes back, sneaky, as soon as I get home to be Mom again!<\/p>\n

Here, I keep apologizing for little things: overcooked pasta, gray skies, a relative’s bad mood.
I apologize for forgetting, for rushing things, for not thinking about…<\/p>\n

One evening, as my daughter celebrated her 23rd birthday, she put a vase on the table.<\/p>\n

\n

“Mom, every time you apologize for something stupid, you owe me two francs.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Today the vase is full of coins.
\nAnd, in a way, it has also filled my conscience: this reflex is deeper than I thought and enormously difficult to get rid of.<\/p>\n

\n

What we do to ourselves without realizing it<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Apologizing too much is rarely polite.<\/p>\n

It’s anticipating the other person’s discomfort.
It’s over-attention.
It’s also a technique for avoiding the risk of displeasing…<\/p>\n

In fact, we’re quick to apologize so as not to be misjudged.<\/p>\n

For me, it’s the fear of being a bad mother<\/em> (even though I work a lot and love it!).<\/p>\n

It’s up to you to choose the injunction that cradles you:<\/p>\n