{"id":11820,"date":"2025-08-26T12:27:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-26T10:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/?p=11820"},"modified":"2025-10-18T18:53:46","modified_gmt":"2025-10-18T16:53:46","slug":"dopamine-accomplissement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dominique-ara.com\/en\/blog\/dopamine-accomplissement\/","title":{"rendered":"When dopamine fools you, how do you get out of it?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Imagine you’ve just finished something important. An achievement, a challenge, a super-important strategic presentation to your team. You’ve ticked all the boxes, rather better than well.You expect to feel joy, relief, recognition… But what you feel is a hollowness. An emptiness. A form of discomfort, of crushing fatigue. And yet, the pleasure isn’t there. <\/p>\n\n

It’s confusing.<\/p>\n\n

<\/div>\n\n

An emotional tornado<\/h2>\n\n

I remember experiencing exactly that when I launched my e-learning platform edu.dominique-ara.com<\/a>. A titanic project that forced me to go beyond my limits, and to learn to manage technical consoles I’d never seen before in my life, to edit while seeing again and again flaws I could no longer correct.<\/p>\n\n

When I put the courses online, I felt a moment of liberation.<\/p>\n\n

Not for long.<\/p>\n\n

The backlash matched my efforts. A real emotional whirlwind. I even had an existential doubt: ” But I’m actually sick<\/em>… Am I depressed? Why am I not happy? There’s something wrong with me, I’m NEVER happy!… Maybe I should stop all this, what’s the point?<\/em>“<\/em> <\/p>\n\n

Among the brilliant women I work with, I’ve witnessed similar scenarios: for exampleKatia went above and beyond for a trade show, finding solutions despite budget cuts. The event was a success. But she feels disappointed, and goes so far as to think that her bosses are “bullshitting” her with their “its amaizing what you have accomplished!” She doesn’t believe a word of it. <\/p>\n\n

This up-and-down phenomenon is not a psychological anomaly. It’s a biological law<\/strong> linked to the amount of dopamine production. <\/p>\n\n

<\/div>\n\n

What dopamine does and doesn’t do<\/h2>\n\n

Dopamine is often thought of as the pleasure hormone. Not true.Dopamine is the hormone of anticipation<\/strong>.It rises before the result. It propels us forward, creating momentum, motivation, and the euphoria of “this is going to work”. <\/p>\n\n

But once the goal has been reached? If the real thing doesn’t match the projection… the dopamine drops<\/strong>.And sometimes, it drops even lower than it did at the start. <\/p>\n\n

Neuroscientist Wolfram Schultz<\/strong> showed this clearly: dopaminergic neurons react to the discrepancy between expected and actual reward. Not enough feedback \u2192 sharp drop in signal. Even in the event of success. <\/p>\n\n

And that’s not all: according to researchers Berridge and Robinson<\/strong>, dopamine is not linked toliking<\/em>, but towanting<\/em>. In other words: you don’t feel joy afterwards because your system has consumed it <\/strong>before<\/b>. What ?!<\/p>\n\n

<\/div>\n\n

The longer you wait, the more you fall<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

The more you project into an action :<\/p>\n\n

– recognition,– esteem,– relief,– visibility,<\/p>\n\n

…. the greater the disillusionment.<\/p>\n\n

<\/p>\n\n

And this disillusionment has nothing to do with objective results.It’s an emotional trap. Invisible. But frighteningly effective. <\/p>\n\n

Because you do everything “right”. You anticipate, you manage, you get involved. You don’t count your hours, your ideas or your heart. <\/p>\n\n

But in a blurred environment where successes are absorbed, normalized, little celebrated, you get no clear signal of victory<\/strong>. Your brain waits for a shot that doesn’t come. Psychiatrist and researcher Judson Brewer<\/strong> even talks about post-success emotional withdrawal<\/strong>: we become addicted to micro-rewards (likes, e-mails, feedbacks), and when they don’t arrive… emptiness sets in.<\/p>\n\n

And then it’s not just your motivation that crumbles. It’s confidence in your own engine<\/strong> that crashes! There’s something deeply unsettling about not feeling what you thought you’d earned<\/strong>. Joy doesn’t come. Relief doesn’t come. And you wonder if you’ve become insensitive, cynical… or broken. <\/p>\n\n

Well, no.<\/p>\n\n

I’m repeating it because I’m afraid you haven’t really registered what I wrote above: what you’re feeling is the result of a chemical functioning<\/strong>, which takes no account of your generosity or integrity. And that’s where real emotional leadership<\/strong> begins. <\/p>\n\n

<\/div>\n\n

Learn to regulate your expectations<\/h2>\n\n

The secret is to return to a finer ecology of your expectations<\/strong>! ( I find the expression super relevant!)<\/p>\n\n

What’s involved?<\/p>\n\n

<\/p>\n\n